Victims to victorious: A study of women in literature, by E. Kristen Denmark

“Stop crying and act like a man,” says many a father to their young sons. Why have we accepted that crying is a feminine action that shows weakness? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of “cry” is “to produce tears from your eyes often while making loud sounds because of pain, sorrow, or other strong emotions.” This definition makes no mention of crying as a weakness or pertaining to female characteristics. Additionally, according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of “strength” is “the quality or state of being physically strong; the ability to resist being moved or broken by a force; and the quality that allows someone to deal with problems in a determined and effective way.” This definition also makes no reference to which sex can possess the true qualities of strength.

In fact, there are no opposites found at all when comparing these two words. One word simply suggests that a person openly displays a strong emotion, and the other word simply suggests that a person is capable of standing his or her ground in a tough situation. In short, when a father tells his son that crying is for girls, he really could not be more wrong. I now ask the question, are women really weak because they show emotion more freely than most men do?

Women have the ability to embrace emotion, love unconditionally, weep unending tears, and still rise above their hurts and misfortunes to gain liberation, empowerment, and strength. The authors of Jane Eyre, The Liars’ Club, and The Woman Who Walked into Doors perfectly paint the picture of women who possess the strength to overcome anything they desire through their own will, even though many tears are shed along the way.

Charlotte Bronte wrote a powerful message in her novel, Jane Eyre, showing how even a young child can possess inner strength to overcome emotional abuse. As an orphaned girl left to her cold-hearted Aunt Reed, Jane is victim to being treated as an outcast among her cousins. Forced to eat, play, and sleep alone, Jane, at the tender age of only 10, realizes that something is not right in the home that claims her as a prisoner. She futilely tries to please her aunt with no success and, in return, finds herself constantly in trouble and shunned by those whom she relies on as family. “I could not answer the ceaseless inward question—why I thus suffered…,” sobs Jane (Bronte & Dunn, 2001, p. 12). To escape such a horrible environment, Jane urges her abusive aunt to send her to a boarding school, and her aunt is all too eager to oblige.

As she enters adulthood, nearly a decade later, Jane is summoned back to her childhood home because her aunt is dying and wishes to see Jane one last time. When Jane arrives to Gateshead Hall, she cannot help but think to herself:

It is a happy thing that time quells the longings of vengeance, and hushes the promptings of rage and aversion: I had left this woman in bitterness and hate, and I came back to her now with no other emotion than a sort of ruth for her great sufferings, and a strong yearning to forget and forgive all injuries—to be reconciled and clasp hands amity.  (Bronte & Dunn, 2001, p. 196). 

It is quite an amazing and selfless act that Jane, who was so emotionally abused by her aunt, displays such liberation through her forgiveness and desire to make amends with her abuser.  Jane says to her aunt:

My disposition is not so bad as you think: I am passionate, but not vindictive.  Many a time, as a little child, I should have been glad to love you if you would have let me; and I long earnestly to be reconciled to you now: kiss me, aunt.  (Bronte & Dunn, 2001, p. 204).

Though her aunt will not accept Jane’s plea for reconciliation, Jane is at peace in her heart for doing the right thing. She says to Mrs. Reed, “Love me, then, or hate me, as you will…you have my full and free forgiveness: ask now for God’s; and be at peace,” (Bronte & Dunn, 2001, p. 204).

One of the hardest misfortunes, though, that Jane has to endure and overcome is her loss of the man she loves. When Jane finds out that her dear Mr. Rochester is already wed to another woman, she knows in her heart that she must leave him.  As he begs her to stay, Jane wisely and calmly says to her one true love, “We were born to strive and endure…you will forget me before I forget you” (Bronte & Dunn, 2001, p. 270).  As she leaves the only place that she has truly known real happiness, Jane addresses her reader directly, saying:

Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt! May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in that hour left my lips: for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love,” (Bronte & Dunn, 2001, p. 274).

Jane cries and pleads with God as she feels so alone in her turmoil, but still has strength to endure and overcome, something that many of us would not have the inner power to do. With no place to go and no family to escape to, Jane realizes, “Not a tie holds me to human society at this moment—not a charm or hope calls me where my fellow creatures are—none that saw me would have a kind thought or a good wish for me.” She again relies on her hope and trust in God, saying, “Remembering what it was—what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light—I felt the might and strength of God” (Bronte & Dunn, 2001, p. 275-276). This woman of great character picks herself up and finds refuge in her trust in God and belief in herself.  Because of her strength to press forward, Jane finds empowerment through all of her sufferings, never accepting that failure is an option. She rises above the hurts and finds success in her perseverance.

Another woman of strong character, Mary Karr, tells us her turbulent story in The Liars’ Club and shows us how even a child who suffers at the hands of her own family can rise above, release the past, and find empowerment through her struggles. Raised with parents who find refuge in alcohol, Mary is no stranger to witnessing brutal fights, depression, and mental illness in the man and woman she calls Mom and Dad. “My sharpest memory is of a single instant surrounded by dark,” Mary says (Karr, 1995, p. 3).  At age seven, Mary learns that her home is not like other homes; something is terribly wrong. “When the truth would be unbearable the mind often just blanks out,” she says, trying to piece together the puzzle of horrific events in her broken memory (Karr, 1995, p. 9).

Mary and her father’s close relationship at an early age is what saves her from early destruction.  However, when Mary’s grandmother moves in due to cancer, the family dynamics change drastically. Watching her mom’s depression worsen and seeing her dad’s absence in the home as a result, Mary becomes aggressive, participating in physical fights with anyone who challenges her. Unfortunately though, Mary iss helpless against the teenage boy who rapes her before she is even old enough to have a strand of pubic hair sprout from her vaginal area. Mary acknowledges this crime directly to her rapist, saying:

Probably you thought I forgot what you did, or you figured it was no big deal. I say this now across decades and thousands of miles solely to remind you of the long memory my daddy always said I had.  (Karr, 1995, p. 66) 

This display of courage gives Mary liberation from the grip her rapist has had on her all those years as she thrusts the truth out there for the world to know his crime against her.

Mary learns to distrust and despise the grandmother who tells her that her mom will send her away if she doesn’t behave and insists that she should be spanked more often to keep her in line.  The fear that this woman instills in Mary is enough for Mary to wish the worst upon her, death.  When Mary’s wish is finally granted, she is relieved inside, but her grandma’s death causes her mother to spiral out of control with deepened depression, more drunkenness, and vicious fighting between her parents. “Something in me had died when Grandma had, and while I didn’t miss her one iota, I keenly felt the loss of my own trust in the world’s order,” Mary said (Karr, 1995, p. 106).  This little girl feels such hopelessness in her life, and worse, she cannot even turn to her own mom for comfort because her mom is mentally absent.

Mary witnesses her mom physically destroy her home and stand in the bedroom doorway, holding up a butcher knife, like she is going to murder Mary and her sister. This would be quite detrimental to that child’s mental health and, yet, how is Mary expected to be able to process these emotions? It isn’t enough to lose her mom to a mental facility, but also the neighborhood kids are relentless with their bullying comments. Even worse yet, Mary’s dad is unwilling talk to her about any of it. She can think of doing nothing more than accepting self-blame. In doing so, Mary stops getting into trouble at school and starts getting good grades, hoping that will bring her mom home.

As if the family hasn’t already been through enough, when Mary’s mom is released from the mental hospital, she decides that moving the family to a new state will be in their best interest.  Proving Mary’s mom terribly wrong, the marriage completely falls apart. After the announcement of their divorce, Mary has to say goodbye to her daddy, the one person she ever felt any safety with.

This period of her life in Colorado, left to the sole care of her mother, ends up being very traumatic for Mary. Mary witnesses her mom participate in sexual relations with random men, fall deeper into alcoholism and diet pills, which cause flared-up tempers, deeper depression resulting in suicidal thoughts, and marriage to a new man whom Mary’s mother almost kills in front of her daughters.

To imagine that all these unspeakable events take place in Mary’s life within a two-year span, between the ages of seven and nine, is nearly unfathomable. This young girl endures such harrowing experiences that many of us could never imagine ever going through, and she not only survives, she thrives. Mary has to hit bottom, though, before she can reach up. Clearly, there is no question as to why Mary will eventually become a criminal, drug addict runaway at age 17. However, it is by the grace of God and her own inner strength that Mary rises above that lifestyle and becomes a best-selling author. It is because of the raw openness and candidness of the Karr family that Mary is able to confront her mother about the demons that showed their ugly faces through the entirety of Mary’s childhood. She is able to accept, process, and turn those horrific experiences around to bring her own self to sweet success.

The last book of great value that I offer to this analysis is the written works of Mr. Roddy Doyle in The Woman Who Walked into Doors. This is the most brutal story of physical, emotional, mental, sexual, and verbal abuse I submit to you in this paper. You will without a doubt see that a woman holds the power to find strength when all hope has been lost. Paula is the true example that love will conquer in the midst of utter despair.

“When he’d hit me he’d been keeping me in my place, putting me back in my box,” Paula said (Doyle, 1996, p. 157). It gets to the point that it doesn’t matter what Paula does to receive a beating; he just beats her for being there. Whenever Charlo beats her, he is careful to search all over her face and body for marks; however, he never looks into her eyes. Clearly, he knows what he is doing was wrong and he can stop, but he never does; it continues to get worse and worse.  Years upon years, Paula cries so many hopeless and helpless tears, but she always gets up from the beatings.

Despite the numerous broken bones, bruises, burn marks, missing teeth and hair, black eyes, ruptured eardrum, and even the miscarriage of a baby, the doctors and nurses never once question the injuries. If only someone would have shown concern for her, she may have escaped much sooner. Maybe she wouldn’t have so many scars. Maybe her children would never know what it is like to see their dad beat their mom so badly that she can barely pick herself up off the floor. No one cares; no one really sees. “I was always to blame,” she says (Doyle, 1996, p. 163).  Charlo kicks her, head butts her, drags her by her hair, scalds her, rapes her, and burns her clothes, anything he can do to make sure she is dead inside. “I was brainwashed and braindead, a zombie for hours, afraid to think, afraid to stop, completely alone,” Paula admits (Doyle, 1996, p. 176).  She spends every single breath in fear. It baffles me that Paula can feel even the tiniest bit of love for that man after what he has done to her and her children, but she does.  “He demolished me. He destroyed me. And I never stopped loving him. I adored him when he stopped,” she says so sincerely (Doyle, 1996, p. 177).  Many of you may ask the question, “Why would she stay?” but I encourage you to ask the more important question, “Why would he beat her?”

When a person is beaten down so badly, both physically and emotionally, that person completely loses the concept of who she is anymore. There is no such thing any longer of her own identity and that is exactly what happens to Paula. She now believes that she will not survive without her abuser. However, something snaps in her one day and changes the rest of her life forever. She sees that look in Charlo’s eyes as he is looking at their eldest daughter, Nicola, that look of hate.  At that very instant, the momma bear in Paula takes over and she does what she has to do to protect her child. She beats him down and forces him out of the house; she takes her life back.  “It was a great feeling. I’d done something good,” she says (Doyle, 1996, p. 226).  Though she continues to struggle with alcoholism and lack of self-respect, Paula finds her strength again and rises above her abuser. Her unconditional love for her children saves their lives. Her strength to acknowledge when enough is enough saves their lives. Her ability to never give up saves their lives.

Conclusion

In conclusion, strength is not gender specific, nor are tears. Society has accepted crying to distinguish weakness and that is grossly erroneous. I have carefully chosen the characters in Jane Eyre, The Liars’ Club, and The Woman Who Walked into Doors to show that women who have cried numerous tears and have been subject to utter despair can still rise above their transgressions and find liberation, empowerment, and strength. Jane Eyre displays her strength through confidence and the acknowledgment that the world does not owe her anything, but that she owes it to herself to rise above and succeed. Mary Karr displays her strength through anger and cynicism towards the world. She realizes that in order to rise above her trials, she has to be a fighter and thus, she fights her way to success. Conversely, Paula Spencer displays her strength, despite low self-esteem and the stench of utter defeat, through her unconditional love for her children. Each woman goes through hardships and each woman deals with those situations differently. The most important thing is that she endured it, she overcame it, and she rose above it.

References

Brontë, C., & Dunn, R. J. (2001). Jane Eyre: An authoritative text, context, criticism. New York: Norton.

Doyle, R. (1996). The woman who walked into doors. New York: Viking.

Karr, M. (1995). The Liars' Club: A memoir. New York: Viking.

Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary