Some amazing people at Madonna, by Frances E. FitzGerald

Part I

I was once told that Sr. Francilene Van de Vyver (Madonna University president from 1975-2001) said that she considered anybody who set foot on our campus as a member of the Madonna community.

Lately, the idea of the Madonna community has become more concrete to me.

It started with Cynthia Ralston (1956-2016), an Aging Studies student who was diagnosed with colon cancer last year. We were close to the same age and became friends when she first enrolled for classes at Madonna. Cynthia had a natural magnetism, and many of us were drawn to her abundant warmth, insightful intelligence, and subversive sense of humor. She had a way of making each of us feel as though we were her best friend.

I visited her frequently when she was living in the cottages and getting radiation and chemotherapy treatments in Ann Arbor. Cynthia had the heart and eloquence of a poet, and I urged her to write about her experiences. One theme that kept emerging in our conversations was the unexpected community that had arisen around her, a cluster of kind souls she had never expected but profoundly appreciated.

For example, Denise Brothers, from Aging Studies, and Mary Mitsch, from the College of Nursing and Health, took turns driving Cynthia all the way to and from Ann Arbor for her treatments. Jack Tyus, from Public Safety, brought her meditation CDs to promote relaxation and healing. Students A.J. Jung and Chukwuebuka (Henry) Igbokwe came to visit. Cynthia told me of another Aging Studies student, a young woman who brought flowers and tidied up her apartment. The students who worked at the front desk of the Residence Hall cut Cynthia plenty of slack when she lacked the stamina to work certain shifts. After Cynthia left her cottage and moved in with her daughter and family, Sr. Janet Stankowski moved her things into storage. She also visited Cynthia often, both at her daughter’s home and at Livonia Woods, the long-term-care facility where Cynthia died. 

Many more in our community reached out to Cynthia during this difficult journey, in ways large and small.

Sadly, Cynthia’s colon cancer got the upper hand, and she died on September 3 of this year. There was standing-room only at her wake. Besides her family and long-time friends, I saw plenty of Madonna faculty, staff, and students who had all loved Cynthia. Cynthia was easy to love.

Cynthia’s daughter, Nachella Jordan, spoke about how wonderful Madonna had been to her mother. At the time I thought, well, yes, but it was Cynthia who inspired our affection and respect. Wherever Cynthia landed, I believe the people whose lives she touched would have rallied around her.

I still believe that, but I’m giving individuals at Madonna more credit now.

Part II

On October 5, my husband, Tom Ward, suffered a massive stroke. The extensive damage on the right side of his brain temporarily paralyzed much of his left side. Within a few hours, our lives changed forever.

This is a challenging time, and I don’t know how we would get through it without our friends at Madonna. While Tom received treatment at St. John Providence Hospital in Novi, Ellen Harcourt (composition adjunct), Beth Hoffman (HelpDesk) and her mother, and Jane Linahan (Religious Studies) all came to visit. Ellen brought kale salad, Beth brought a snacks bag, and Jane prayed over Tom. So did Patrick Waters (Campus Ministry) on another visit. BLG students gave us a card with their prayers and best wishes. Sally Freels and a few other Writing Center tutors taped up a big “We Love You” sign on my cubicle wall. My boss, Neal Haldane, allows me some flexibility in my schedule. Kathleen Edelmayer provides frequent hugs, and I can count on Diane Baumgartner, Djennin Casab, Marian Gonsior, Courtney Totty, Sr. Nancy Jamroz, Sr. Janet Stankowski, and Veronica Riha for ongoing encouragement.

When Tom was taken to St. Mary Emergency on October 23 because of a blood clot in his lung, Ellen sat with me until 11 p.m., after Tom was settled in his room.

Here’s another example: Former Writing Center tutors Sarah Kosel (now academic advisor in Sign Language Studies) and Laura Haldane (now composition adjunct at Madonna) offered to play with Doug, our cat, while I’m away for long hours. One Sunday I left our front door unlocked so they could come over and keep Doug company. I returned early in the evening to find Laura drying dishes. She said, “We played with Doug, and Sarah cleaned out the cat litter, and we emptied your dishwasher and took out your garbage and baked some muffin bread and cooked some chicken chili. It’s in the refrigerator.” I could have wept with gratitude.

It didn’t stop there. Tom and I may need to move to a one-story home and, on November 5, two work crews—one in the morning, one in the afternoon—helped me wrest order out of the chaos of our home (more specifically, our basement). My helper elves included Sue Waters (Campus Ministry Director Patrick Waters is her husband), Beth Hoffman, Sarah Kosel, Dave Stokes (formerly of the Office of Disability Resources), Anne Lies (Director of the Office of Counseling and Disability Resources), Kari Theisen (former tutor), and Neal, his wife Michelle, and their daughter Laura Haldane. Three of my sisters, one nephew, one niece, and four great-nieces and –nephews also came to help me throw away or give away some of the clutter we can no longer afford to keep. It was a sunny, beautiful Saturday, and I know they could have found something much more enjoyable to do.

Many more of my colleagues—and our students—continue to offer their support, affection, and best wishes.

Part III

Like many of you, I have concerns about our current political climate. I worry that ugly behaviors—such as racism, sexual assault, and bullying—are being legitimized. It’s a difficult time, and it’s easy to believe the worst about people. So I’m thinking about the people I just wrote about, people who sacrificed time and effort to support Cynthia Ralston while she was ill and dying, people who continue to support Tom and me as we work to re-assemble our lives. And when I think of them, I see true goodness.

I see plenty of true goodness at Madonna. Do individuals at Madonna naturally draw other compassionate individuals, or do they help shape us into our best selves? I don’t know. I also don’t know what Tom’s and my future holds. But I do know that, when we look back at this time, we will treasure the kindness we’ve experienced through the many good souls here.